I have been working on a Stations of the Cross project for my parish. Needless to say, I have been doing a lot of thinking about "The Cross". I like to wear a cross around my neck. I like to hold the cross at the end of my Rosary, and I love to gaze at the cross when I'm saying my prayers. But to be perfectly honest, when I have to pick up and carry my cross, I'm not so happy. I don't mind little crosses and sacrifices, but when I'm asked to suffer with a very difficult cross, I find myself asking the question,"Why?"
I once heard a homily that has stuck with me some twenty years later. The priest said, "It's okay to ask God, 'Why?', but just don't run away from Him while you search for the answer."
I think most of us find suffering difficult. We want there to be a reason. We want it to make sense. Most of the time it doesn't seem to make any sense at all. However, I have found in my own life that asking the question "Why?" isn't as important as asking the question, "How?"
I have found that when I'm down on my knees asking, "How can I carry a cross so heavy?" that I can't run away. It is on my knees, I beg for God's help. It is on my knees, I trust in His love. It is
on my knees, when my strength is gone, that the Lord whispers, "You are not alone. Lean on me and carry on."
-Susan
