The Beloved Disciple: Believe

  

  You sat quietly listening to the whispered fears and plans. We had all stayed in the upper room for safety. No one knew if it was safe to leave. Grief and fear had paralyzed everyone. Without Jesus, we were lost. Suddenly, the door burst open, and everyone jumped to their feet, ready to run.  Mary Magdalene, gasping for air, announces, "They have taken the Lord out of the tomb, and we do not know where they have laid Him."

  "What?" echoed through the room. Someone took Jesus' body? Why? You quickly glance at Mary, worried it might cause her more pain, but she appears to remain at peace. Then Peter looks at you and grabs your arm.  "Let's go. You know where the tomb is.  The rest of you stay here and stay safe."

  Your glance again shifts to Mary. She nods in approval and quietly states, "It's the third day."  

  Without a second thought, you and Peter run toward the tomb. One after another, your thoughts race quickly, pushing your legs to move even faster. Did someone really steal His body? It's the third day. How many would be needed to roll the stone?  It's the third day. Had you not been informed that Roman soldiers were guarding the tomb?  It's the third day. Who would take His body? It's the third day. You remember Jesus predicted that He would be killed and rise on the third day. Everything He said proved true. Could this also be true?  For the first time in days, you allow yourself to hope. Fueled by this hope, you don't even notice that Peter can't keep up with you. You arrive at the tomb first and see that the stone has indeed been rolled away! You notice no signs of soldiers. You scan the surrounding area, making sure it’s not a trap, as you wait for Peter to catch up.

  "Is His body gone?" Peter asks, completely out of breath.

  "I waited for you." You follow Peter into the tomb. His body was indeed gone! But the linen cloths seemed to be carefully rolled up. Why would someone bother to do that? That makes no sense. Those who robbed graves took whatever was valuable, especially the linens.

  Slowly and cautiously, you and Peter make your way back to the upper room. You both stay silent on the way back to avoid attracting any attention.  You desperately want to believe that Jesus was somehow alive, just as he predicted. But you saw Him crucified on the cross.  You watched the blood and water flow from His heart when the soldier pierced His side.  You helped carry His body into the tomb.  He was dead. How could He come back to life?

  You and Peter report everything you saw to the others. Over the next few hours, you share different theories about what might have happened.  One after another, the theories are dismissed.  None of them makes any sense. Nothing has made sense since the Passover meal. Your heart keeps reminding you that it's the third day. It's the third day. You want to believe.

  Then, suddenly, Jesus appeared in the middle of the room! He said, "Peace be with you." In that moment, your grief turned into rejoicing! Jesus is alive—truly alive! It is the third day, and Jesus has risen from the grave just as He promised! Your eyes confirm what your heart so desperately wanted to believe. Jesus is the Son of God, and death has no power over Him! This changes everything.  His love for us changes everything!

-Susan

The Beloved Disciple: Trust God's Plan

 

  It was late at night when Judas arrived with the soldiers.  Judas was walking toward Jesus, and you knew you had to act.  You open your mouth to scream, "No!" but nothing comes out. Again, you try to shout, "Stop!" but your voice fails you. Why can’t I scream? Where is my voice? I have to stop this? I know what’s going to happen. This can’t happen. I have to stop this. I have to stop this. You fall to your knees, sobbing as they take Jesus away.

  Suddenly, you hear James’ voice and feel him shaking you.  “Wake up, wake up! You’re having a nightmare!” 

  You look into James' face and confess, “I couldn’t stop it! I knew what horrible things would happen, and I couldn’t prevent it. Every time I close my eyes, I see His blood-stained face gasping for air. I see the nails in His feet and the blood dripping down. I see—”

  “You have to stop reliving it.  Mary is finally sleeping. Don’t waken her.” James commands. 

  “Ok, ok, you’re right. I have to take care of Mary now. I promised Him.” James lies back down, but you remain sitting, hugging your legs, your face touching your knees, trying to escape from all of the memories of the last 24 hours. Your body starts shaking involuntarily as you try to understand how this all happened. How could they have beaten and crucified Him?  How?  So many excruciating, painful details flash before your eyes. How can I make this all go away? You can’t. You were there and saw everything. Tears keep streaming down your face. You can’t stop them.  How can He be gone?

  You did your best to stay strong for Mary. There were times when Jesus’ agony seemed to physically pierce Mary. You did your best to support her as she struggled with her pain. Her body sometimes went limp, but she stayed faithful to Jesus and the Father.  She never said anything harsh or unkind. You could see her lips moving in prayer, and sometimes a word or two was spoken aloud. She simply kept praying for God's mercy for everyone. Her prayers seemed to echo His. Another heart-wrenching memory invades your thoughts. "Father, forgive them, they know not what they do."

  How can He be gone? Did I not just lay my head on his chest last night and hear His heartbeat? What did He say? "Stay close to me, my friend.  Soon you will see I love you more than you can understand." The tears continue flowing down your face, one after another.  You can't even be bothered to wipe them away. As the pain in your chest starts to grow, another memory pops into your mind. The night you couldn't sleep, Jesus wrapped his arm around you and kissed your forehead. Remember, he said, "Go get some rest and trust in my timing." 

  "I will always trust you, Jesus," you promise. "I still believe in you." A wave of peace washes over you. "I can still feel you," you whisper. You close your eyes and let the feeling take over you. And it is His peace that calms you down, helping you to drift back to sleep.

-Susan

The Beloved Disciple: I Love You

 

  As you recline next to Jesus at Passover, you try to absorb what just happened.  Jesus blessed and broke the bread and said, "Take and eat; this is my body."  The bread was then passed to each of you at the table. Then He took the cup, gave thanks and said, "Drink from it, all of you, for this is my blood of the new covenant, which will be shed on behalf of many for the forgiveness of sins."

  What did Jesus mean when he said this is my blood, this is my body, which will be shed….Jesus looked at each of us with such love.  His words were slow and perfectly enunciated. He chose these words very carefully and deliberately. The bread is His body. You remember the words He had spoken before. “I am the Bread of Life. “ You must eat the flesh of the Son of man and drink His blood.” This is the new covenant. This all sounds amazing except for one word—shed. His blood will be shed?  

  Your thoughts are interrupted by Jesus’ next announcement, “One of you will betray me.”  What?  One of us is going to betray Jesus?  That sounds impossible. You suddenly feel queasy, and the hair on your arms stands on end. How can this make sense?  Think. Think.  At the first Passover, blood was shed. The blood of the lambs. This blood protected them from death. John the Baptist called Jesus the Lamb of God. Jesus might have to die to save us from death? That can’t be! The Messiah is supposed to save us. Suddenly, another question comes crashing through your thoughts. What are we being saved from? From death? Wait, Jesus also said for the forgiveness of sins. Forgiveness of sins, saved from death. Eat my flesh and drink my blood, and you will have eternal life.  

  Your head starts spinning as you try to understand. You lean your head back against Jesus. You can hear His heart beating.  Your fears begin to fade being this close to His heart. Jesus whispers to you, “Stay close to me, my friend.  Soon you will see I love you more than you can understand.”

-Susan