Encountering The Cross (Week One)

 

 

 Numbly, she walked through the maze of hospital hallways towards the exit. She couldn't control the tears. She didn't even try to wipe them away. She just let them fall. Blurred faces walked past, but the only thing that she could focus on was the doctor's voice, "It's stage four cancer. There's not much we can do."

 She opened and closed her car door as quickly as possible. She sat down and hit the steering wheel repeatedly. She screamed with fierce anger, "Why? Why are you letting this happen to me?" For a long time, she sobbed uncontrollably, begging God to take away this cross. When her tears ran dry, she sat wholly exhausted, looking straight into her future. From the depths of her being came words she almost choked on, "Lord, let Your Will be done." From nowhere, a fresh load of tears flooded her face. When those tears slowed, she whispered one more prayer, "Lord, will you help me, please? I can't do this alone," she said. After that prayer, a wave of peace came over her. She knew she would not carry this cross alone.

 She backed her car out of the parking space and shifted into drive.  She had resolved to move forward, realizing she had no control over where she was headed. Each day, she paved her path with prayers through a strenuous terrain of doctor visits, surgery, radiation, and chemotherapy. She had a lot of bad days, and she had some horrible days. But God kept His promise. He never left her side. His love and peace held her from falling apart.

 From time to time, she still wondered, "Why?' 

 But God never answered that question. Instead, He would whisper, "Trust me, child." 

 And she would reply, "Jesus, I trust in You,"

-Susan