Focas Forwad

 

 "Then Judas, his betrayer, seeing that Jesus had been condemned, deeply regretted what he had done. He returned the thirty pieces of silver to the chief priests and elders, saying, "I have sinned in betraying innocent blood." Mark 27:1-4

 Heather closed her bible as those words pierced her heart. She had heard those verses countless times, yet today, she felt a personal pull. Heather allowed herself to consider Judas for a minute. He certainly wasn't the person she wanted to identify with in the gospel. Definitely not. He was so easy to dislike. Heather thought for a minute about Judas. What did she know? He was the one who controlled the money bag. The man who voluntarily sold the whereabouts of Jesus for 30 pieces of silver. He was at the Last supper with Jesus. Allowed Jesus to wash his feet and dipped his hand into the dish with Jesus. He led a crowd carrying swords and clubs and then betrayed Jesus with a kiss.

 Heather shook her head, "I am nothing like Judas... am I?" She sat with that thought for a long time, wrestling with her conscience. What had she confessed last week in the Reconciliation room? "Okay, well ya, I'm obviously not perfect. Those were just small betrayals. Everyone sins. Is Jesus as okay with my small betrayals as I am?" She let out a big sigh. "Probably not." She continued to think. "Have I ever cared more about money than my faith?" She looked around at all the things she possessed. The answer to that question was obvious. "Well, at least I never betrayed Jesus with a kiss...have I? Have I ever kissed Jesus on Sunday morning at Mass and then focused the rest of the week on my own agenda?" Tears began to run down Heather's face. "I don't want to be like Judas. Holy Spirit, please help me!"  

-Susan