It is week two and you ready to venture back into the desert. You close your eyes and pray to the Holy Spirit, "Lead me into the desert." You clear your thoughts, relax, and wait in silence. As you open your mind and heart to the Holy Spirit, it is not long before you find yourself back in the desert. This time things are much different. It is night. It is dark and it is cool. You can see the stars above you and feel the sand beneath you, but everything else seems hidden behind the darkness. This time you jump when you feel a hand on your shoulder.
"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to startle you." You instantly recognize Dominic's voice and allow yourself to smile.
"I didn't even see you next to me."
"I know. Sometimes our vision can be limited by our surroundings or the events in our lives. Sometimes we allow the darkness to blind us."
"I'm not sure what you mean?"
"Come on follow me." The two of you begin walking, however, you find yourself having trouble keeping pace with Dominic tonight. "Can I ask you something?" inquires Dominic. "Would you cross this desert by yourself? I mean, if I hadn't shown up, would you have started walking?"
"Probably not. I have no idea where I am and I can't see much more than a foot in front of me. I can barely see you."
"Have you ever felt that way in your spiritual life?"
"Are you trying to tell me something?"
"Of course I am," said Dominic with a playful laugh. "Do you know God's Will for your life?"
You take a minute to think and answer honestly. "Well sometimes I think I do, but there were many times I was not so sure."
"So what did you do?"
"Hmm....I'm not really sure. I guess I just kept praying. There are times when I feel like I'm going in the right direction, but I have also had moments of being completely confused."
"Like you were in the dark?"
"Yes, exactly, and let me tell you, that is not a fun place to be." You take some time to think about those moments as you continue to walk. "Dominic, those moments when I feel lost, is it because I am praying wrong?"
"Why would you think that?"
"Well I don't understand why sometimes God hears my prayers and my heart hears Him, but there are times when I feel alone."
"Do you think God has ever abandoned you?"
"I don't know. I know in my head that He would never abandon me, I know He always loves me, but sometimes.....I'm just not sure."
Dominic stops for a minute. "I know what you mean. During my lifetime there were many times when I felt God's love intensely in my life. It was amazing! But there were plenty of times I didn't feel anything, and there were definitely times when I felt anxious wondering if I was doing God's Will."
"What did you do then?"
" To be honest, I tried not to see too far in front of me. I trusted God to reveal Himself and His Plan in His timing. Trusting in God dispels the darkness." The two of you continue to walk for another quarter of a mile when Dominic announces, "Ok, we are almost there. Are you ready?"
" We are almost where? I don't see anything."
"Do you want to?"
"Of course."
"I told you, you have to trust God in order to dispel the darkness. In a few more feet we are about to encounter the Holy Family. Joseph and Mary want to share how they trusted God as they walked through the desert. Dark nights come to everyone, but our trust in God directs our path. Maybe we should stop and pray together and ask the Holy Spirit to help us trust in God more." You bow your head as Dominic stretches his hand out over you requesting a blessing. A few moments later the sky is illuminated with a fiery light and you see Joseph and Mary coming towards you. Mary is carrying baby Jesus in her arms. Spend this next week close to the Holy family learning how to trust God and His Plan.
-Susan
