Even though I have been an adult for more years than I like to admit, I love thinking of myself as a child of God. The thought just makes me smile. I like to imagine walking alongside God in a beautiful meadow, my small hand inside His and just talking about any and everything.
I do not like to think of myself as a sinner. The thought is so disappointing and embarrassing, yet completely accurate. I surmise I am not the only one who would rather ignore the "ugly" inside themselves. But if we want to grow spiritually, we need to take an honest look at ourselves and ask God for His grace and wisdom to change.
I remember one time waiting at church for the sacrament of Reconciliation. It was one of those Saturdays at home where no one could get along. I piled the kids in the car and told them I think we need to spend some time with God so we could remember how to be nice to each other. As we walked into church, I reminded them to sit quietly and think of their sins. After about three minutes of peace, one by one my children whispered, "I can't think of any."
My first thought was, "Are you serious?" Instead I suggested they should try reviewing the day and think about how they had treated each other. A few more minutes of "almost silence" occurred before one the youngest decided being silent was too difficult. A few more minutes of "shhhh be quiet" and "please stop talking" occurred before I decided we were too disruptive to everyone else praying and we needed to leave. When we got out the church I looked at them and asked, "Was it really that hard to be good?"
My son spoke up first. "Mom I know I was supposed to be quiet and good, but I couldn't do it. I just couldn't stop talking. I don't know why. I'm sorry."
His words stopped me dead in my tracks. My anger dissipated and the light went on. How many times had I asked God to forgive me for not acting the way I should and how many times had He forgiven me?
I took my child's hand in mine as we walked to the car and softly said, "I forgive you. Maybe next time you could try harder."
He looked up at me and smiled and said, "Yeah, I will."
Whether you see yourself as child of God or a sinner, walking hand in hand, knowing you can forgive and be forgiven makes for a pretty good day after all.
-Susan
